Aftermath
by Saishi
Summary: It all started with 'What if there was a REALLY good New Year's party...' Warnings: General insanity, yaoi and yuri overtones in some chapters. Unusual pairings (On purpose!).
1. Aftermath - Chapter 1

Aftermath  
-------------  
  
  
Geh... never again. Never again will I allow Quatre to convince me   
that Rashid makes the best mixed drinks. I swear, that boy is just   
too innocent for his own good, even when he's being devious. That   
was my first New Year's Resolution. The other is to find out whose   
underwear is hanging off my foot. The only reason I know it isn't   
mine is because I don't wear any. It's bad when it takes me a few   
minutes to figure out why it's so dark, especially when it's because   
my eyes are closed. It's even worse when opening my eyes makes the   
room start to defy every law of physics known to man.  
  
Memo to me. No more Arabic drinks at parties.  
  
My head hitting the pillow again hurts more than lifting it did, then   
I realize it's because there is no pillow there and I think I just   
cracked the side of the coffee table. Wait a minute... I don't own a   
coffee table. I'd smack myself in the head if I weren't sure that   
would be my REAL bad move for the day. The party wasn't at my place,   
it was at Quatre's. Hence Rashid and the time bombs from hell   
disguised as drinks.   
  
Sitting up again... or trying to. A low rumbling noise fills my   
ears, almost deafening in its intensity. Wincing, I try to bring my   
hands up to my ears, wind up back on the floor again, and then it   
hits me that I was hearing myself groan as my body protested movement   
this early in the morning. Morning? Nah, can't be. I crack one eye   
just enough to catch sight of the huge floor-to-ceiling windows that   
cover one wall of the estate's living room. Nope, too bright to be   
morning. The fact that I was able to figure that out in my current   
state is a relief... at least I'm not THAT far gone. However, my   
train of thought seems to be derailing itself far too easily and I'm   
not sure if I like this or not.   
  
Okay... they can have the Arabic drinks, I'll just stick to club soda   
or something.  
  
I have to get up. I'm sure of this because alcohol seems to have an   
amazing effect on my bladder, making it half its normal size. I'm   
just praying that I remember where the bathroom is and that there's   
one nearby. There's GOT to be one down here, right? As I go to roll   
over, though, I find myself not going very far. My entire left side   
won't budge. Panic hits then, and my eyes snap open wide. I must   
have fallen at the party, hit my head and now I've somehow managed to   
paralyze my entire left side!   
  
That's when the rational part of my brain kicks in and reminds me   
that such a thing would likely be impossible to do, and even if it   
were possible, I wouldn't have been able to pull it off by hitting a   
coffee table in a drunken stupor. Besides, someone would have at   
least picked me up.   
  
It's amazing how sober you can get when something like that crosses   
your mind... but it's nothing compared to the wake up call I got when   
I looked to see what was pinning me to my left. I think my eyes got   
as wide as saucers, and I'm pretty positive every hair on my body   
stood up. It's frightening really. I hadn't expected to pass out on   
the floor... I hadn't expected to wake up well past noon... and I   
sure as HELL hadn't expected to wake up with someone curled against   
me like I was a body pillow. Stunned is not the word.   
  
A muffled groan let me know that I wasn't the only one having   
troubles this morning, but I couldn't bring myself to look away at   
all. I think shock was permanently etched on my face, and my voice   
deserted me altogether. I found a pair of soft brown eyes looking   
back at me. The only comfort I had was that those eyes held the same   
amount of sheer surprise as I'm sure mine did.  
  
"Good morning... Heero." I heard, half whispered as realization   
slowly hit the both of us. That's IT. Next new years, I'm just   
staying my ass at home. Permanently. No more Preventers parties for   
me. That's my LAST new years resolution!  
  
"Ohayo... Lady Une..."  
  
* * *  
  
TBC  
  



	2. Aftermath - Chapter 2

Aftermath (Part 2)  
----------------------  
  
  
My head was pounding even before I opened my eyes and all I could think of was that I was going to kill whoever decided to run a one-man-band through the living room at this god-awful hour. What time WAS it, anyway? Peering out of the blanket, I saw that it had to be well past noon, the sunlight was coming almost straight down. I'm not sure when I noticed that I wasn't alone on the couch, or that we weren't alone in the room, but all other thought was driven from my mind at what I saw on the floor between the couch and the coffee table.  
  
A rather naked Heero... and a rather naked Lady Une... staring at each other as if they'd just grown two more heads apiece. I couldn't stop myself from laughing even though the sound made the headache I was getting far worse. It didnt' MATTER! Oh man, I'd have braved a camera flash at that point if I could have preserved the looks on their faces. I let one arm drift around Duo, winding in his hair as I just lay there and laughed until my sides hurt. I couldn't help it. I had to get my digs in while I could.  
  
"Ne, Heero? You don't look so hot this morning."  
  
The twin glares from the couple on the floor nearly sent me into another round of giggles until I felt an arm snake around my waist and pull me closer. I fairly purred at the sensation. How long had I been trying to get Duo to notice me? I could kiss Quatre for this party... he may have been drunk, but waking up together was definately MY idea of how to start off the new year. I looked down at Heero, who was now laying on his side, propped up on one elbow as his other arm draped over Une's waist. The smug expressions on their faces wasn't exactly what I was expecting to see.  
  
I wasn't blind, I knew that Duo and Heero had something between them, even if neither of them would ever SAY anything about it aloud. I couldln't help myself as I let my fingers trail through that long cornsilk hair.   
  
"What's wrong, Heero? Besides the fact that you didn't wake up with YOUR Duo?" For all the times we'd played the 'one upsmanship' game, this was one I'd treasure... until I heard a decidedly NON-male voice coming from the lump of blanket to my right.  
  
"I hate to inform you of this Hilde... but neither did you."  
  
I turned slowly, stiffening as my eyes locked with a fierce blue gaze. Oh my god... Quatre Winner, you're going to die if I ever get my hands on you... NEVER again will I trust that man's parties.  
  
I gulped faintly, breaking a soft smile as I realized whose hair I'd been toying with for the past ten minutes. "Ahhh... sorry... I think it was the hair... or the alcohol."  
  
"Or both."   
  
I didn't know what was worse... Heero and Une suddenly breaking into gales of laughter on the floor... or the hint of mischief on the face of Dorothy Catalonia as she nestled against me once more and promptly went back to sleep.  
  
* * *  
  
TBC  
  



	3. Aftermath - Chapter 3

Aftermath (Part 3)  
-----------------------  
  
  
"Oooohhhhh...."   
  
That slight sound grated across my nerves like fire and I swore I was never touching another drop of alcohol in my life. Who'd have known that Quatre would allow such strong drink at one of his parties? This is just another reminder to never underestimate the Winner heir in anything. It didn't take much for me to realize I was naked, in a bed I didn't recognize, and I only vaguely assumed that it was somewhere in Quatre's house.   
  
Oh this would be REAL good. Let the press get wind of this. 'Former Queen of the World elicits sordid affair with Winner heir'. I could see it now. Chuckling faintly, I sat up and immediately regretted it. Both hands darted out to my sides, stabilizing me on the bed that had suddenly decided to start moving. This wasn't good. Not at all. Oh dear...  
  
I thank whatever deity was paying attention that not only was there a private bathroom attached to this room, but that I made it there without running into any walls or tripping over the pattern on the rug. Either would have been a viable option, considering my current state. As I clung to the bowl, I instantly realized why I'd never had anything stronger than champagne in my entire existance and likely would never go near THAT again either.   
  
I felt hands on my shoulders, scooping my hair back and holding it so that I didn't make more of a mess of myself than I was already. A soft groan was all I could utter in thanks, and I could have sworn I heard a faint chuckle behind me. Male. I would have looked up if I could, but something told me it wouldn't be the smartest thing I could do. It was almost twenty minutes before I could even think about moving.   
  
When I got to my feet shakily, I found a glass of water being pressed into my hand and I accepted it as graciously as I could. It was then that I looked up and found myself caught by a pair of green eyes that I'd never really noticed before.  
  
"Drink a bit more, Miss Relena... it'll help, I promise."  
  
All I could do was nod dumbly, and he brought one hand to the glass to stabilize it as I shook. I don't know why, really... I couldn't stop my gaze from travelling downward over his bod-- oh dear...  
  
He was just as naked as I was, and if he'd heard me... I started to fall back, feeling myself being caught and lifted, then carried back into the main room. As I was laid on the bed, I looked up through a haze at the concerned face above my own.  
  
"Rest now... I'll try and find something that'll help. I'm just rather glad that I don't get hungover."   
  
He went to slip away then, but something made me grab his hand and pull him back. "Wait..." His gaze returned to mine and I found myself smiling, not caring what may or may not have happened. It was obvious that he felt the same way. "Do me a favour?"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Kill Quatre if you find him."  
  
He chuckled then, shaking his head softly. "Under normal circumstances, I'd refuse. However, I'm more than willing to turn the tables on him."   
  
I felt myself slipping back into sleep then, and nodded faintly, grinning.   
  
"Thank you, Trowa."  
  
* * *  
  
TBC 


	4. Aftermath - Chapter 4

Aftermath (Part 4)  
------------------------  
  
  
My body felt like someone had unplugged every nerve I had and left me a heap of bones and flesh in a bed. I don't think I could have moved if I tried. I hadn't attempted to open my eyes yet, and I have the distinct impression that was a good idea. What was IN those drinks?? I barely remember the party itself, and nothing of what happened afterward, but apparently I found a bedroom somewhere in this maze of a house and made use of it.   
  
I remembered Heero singing 'Auld Lang Syne' at the top of his lungs, with Duo bringing up the harmony... Rashid was mixing those things they called drink... Hilde was passed out on the couch by ten, and Quatre and Trowa were discussing ways to embarrass the hell out of her upon waking. Remind me never to pass out around those two. As an indistinct grumble came from the other side of the bed, I froze.  
  
Too late. I must have passed out before they did... Damnit.  
  
The sobering effect of waking up in a strange place with a strange person should never be underestimated. Ever. Somehow, I had to wonder if the room was bugged so that those two could get a perverse pleasure out of watching their 'victims' wake. I slipped from the bed as quietly as I could then, and tried to find my clothes. No luck. There was, however, a robe in the closet and I donned it quickly, heading for the door. In the hallway, I was stopped as I ran into Trowa... naked... with a tray of bread and juice in his hands.  
  
"What the hell are you doing, Barton?" I tried my best to glare, but at that moment, I wasn't sure if I could have frightened a kitten. Something about trying to look fierce with your hair in your face, wrapped up in a pink bathrobe. PINK?!?? That does it, someone's going to die.  
  
He just looked at me with that impassive gaze of his and shrugged. "Relena's not doing too well, so I'm bringing her something to try and calm her stomach."  
  
It took me a moment to digest that. I think I stood there with my mouth agape for a few moments, and it was obvious what was going through my mind.  
  
"Yes, I woke up with Relena. Heero is currently being used as a pillow by Lady Une and Dorothy and Hilde are on the couch."  
  
I did a mental count as he spoke, and when I came up with the names and faces that remained unmentioned, I shuddered faintly. I still didn't know who was back in the room behind me, curled up in the blankets. "I see..." I started, thinking a bit more. "So basically, everyone's going to wind up never living this night down, and I may as well make the best of it, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
I could accept that. For now. Then again, *I* wasn't the one who woke up with Relena, so I counted myself lucky in that respect. She and I never really got along. Shrugging faintly, I just turned around, walked back into the room and closed the door. Leaning against it a moment, I wondered exactly what-.. err... who I would find on the other side of the room.  
  
"Maxwell. It's got to be Maxwell. Quatre would be just that sadistic. It had BETTER not be Trieze, although if I remember right, he was far too sober towards the end of the night." I wasn't really aware that I was rambling to myself until I heard a voice answer from the bed.  
  
"You'll be happy to know that I'm not Maxwell OR Trieze, thank you." Slightly dazed eyes peered over the edge of the blanket along with a shock of curly hair. She didn't appear to happy at being woken up yet, and if she had been drinking as much as I apparently had, I couldn't fault her for it. She was right about one thing though... it was far better than some of the alternatives.  
  
I sighed then, smiling faintly and heading back towards the bed. As I sat down on the edge of it, she arranged herself so that she was covered by the blanket. No doubt she was suffering from the same lack of clothing that I was. This was going to be an interesting morning, to say the least.   
  
"Look on the bright side, Wufei. I'm not as bad off as Relena is, I won't make you go get me breakfast."  
  
"Maybe... but your brother might have a few words for me if he finds out about this."  
  
"Trowa was in on it with Quatre at the beginning, he just can't hold his alcohol worth a damn and got nailed as well." Catherine smirked faintly, tilting her head to the side. "Besides... if I'd woken up with HIM, it would have just been creepy."  
  
"Point taken. Shall we go find the others or wait until someone comes knocking?" I should have been warned by the mischievous smirk that crossed her face.  
  
"Let `em wonder." She said, moments before grabbing the robe and pulling me back into the bed.   
  
* * *  
  
TBC 


	5. Aftermath - Chapter 5

Aftermath (Part 5)  
------------------------  
  
  
I'm gonna die. I know it, I can feel it. My brain's not working, my body is doing even less and my mouth feels like it got slept in by a cat. For all I know, maybe it DID. Does Quatre have a cat? As one hand finds its way onto the lump against my chest and I feel long fur between my fingers, I'm convinced he does. "Great." I muttered. "Of all the ways to spend New Years, I had to get lucky with a Persian." I almost laughed at that, remembering a bit of Quatre's heritage as well as the Manguanacs, and realizing that I could be a lot worse off.   
  
I looked down at my chest and saw a few wisps of blonde coming from the blanket. Waitaminnit... blonde? Cats aren't blonde. My mind went back to the party the night before and I think I uttered a few regards to a certain Arab's parentage that I'll never admit to. Looking down again, I just sighed. Well, there were worse things than waking up with Relena in your bed. I pulled the blanket to the side, half wondering if she could breathe under all that, then got the shock of my young life.   
  
I screamed. I know I did. Not only did I scream, but I wound up scooted back on the bed, my back against the headboard as I clutched the blanket tightly around me. "This is not happening, no way, uh uh..." One hand reached out and shakily lifted up the fringe of bangs that I'd mistaken for fur not long ago... and looked at the blissfully peaceful face of a sleeping Lightning Count. "Oh God, you definately have a warped view of a 'wake up call'."  
  
He murmured faintly and rolled over, taking half the blankets with him, and I wound up nearly choking as my heart lept up into my throat, hearing him speak. "Damnit Duo, stop stealing the covers."  
  
He knew. What the... he KNEW?? I blinked, sitting there in a stupor and trying to organize what remained of my rational thought. Unfortunately, it had flown the coop along with my sanity at that point. I was in bed... with Zechs. In bed... with Zechs. "Oh my GOD, Heero's gonna KILL me!!" I yelped, shrinking back against the bed with widened eyes. I wasn't sober.. not by a longshot... and my brain was reeling with trying to process everything it had just been handed.   
  
Wait... I was drunk. I KNOW how I get when I'm drunk, and Zechs hadn't seemed to be too restricted the night before either. Did we...? I lifted up the blanket, peering underneath and looking for any trace of... oh hells. The blanket dropped back down again and I just stared up at the ceiling. We did. "Oh FUCK."  
  
"Yes, several times."  
  
I blinked, staring in shock at the pair of crystal blue eyes that now laughed at me from the depths of the blanket. He was ENJOYING this?? "I.. but... we..."  
  
"Duo, if you think anyone's going to be angry, you obviously didn't stay conscious long enough to see what was done to some of the others." As he described in detail some of the other 'pairings' going on, I couldn't help but start giggling hysterically. "Heero.. and UNE?? Oh hell, he's got NO room to bitch about you and me now." I collapsed into laughter again, but was brought up short by the distinct feeling of someone's hand trailing up my thigh.  
  
"Exactly... and I don't know about you, but I remember enough about last night to have enjoyed myself greatly."   
  
I didn't know what to do about THAT. I blushed, I know that much... the rest was a stammered reply that I had no recollection of what had happened. Now, I almost wish I DID.   
  
"Well then..." His voice purred. "We'll just have to make sure you have something to remember tonight by, yes?"   
  
Coherent thought? What's that? It's something that left the building immediately after he wrapped his arms around me and slid me back beneath the blankets, capturing my lips with his own.  
  
Happy Fucking New Year indeed!  
  
* * *  
  
TBC  
  



	6. Aftermath - Chapter 6

Aftermath (Part 6)  
------------------------  
  
  
This wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be... not really. I could have laughed at some of the expressions on their faces, if only I'd seen them. You see... I'm the innocent one, the one that NO ONE expects to pull off something like this... especially for the reason that I did it. Trowa was an excellent source of rather twisted ideas, but even he had his limits. I'm SO going to die for this, but it was well worth it. The pictures I got before they woke up are worth more than anything they could possibly do to me. Well, except maybe Heero... but I took his gun after he passed out, so I'm safe for a bit.   
  
As I walked down the hall and let myself into the last room, I couldn't help but grin. Sally and Noin were there, happily curled around a rather immobile Trieze. It wasn't MY fault he didn't drink. Not to the point I needed him to anyway. It was Trowa's idea to spike his drink, and that was one of the last truly coherent ideas he had last night. I figured this one was going to earn me the most grief, so I simply slipped into the room and placed the keys to both sets of handcuffs on the nightstand where either of the ladies would be able to find them, but Trieze himself couldn't reach. As I was slinking back towards the door, I heard a voice that made me freeze in my tracks.   
  
"Winner, I WILL get even for this."  
  
I turned slowly, unable to stop the smirk on my lips as I regarded Treize in all his indignant glory. "Maybe. But not today. Besides... I don't think you'll mind too much when they wake up. I've heard rumours about how Noin gets when she's drunk, and after last night I don't think she'll be over it this quickly." I brought up my hand in a mock salute, grinning as I left the room, shutting out the vague cursing behind me as the door closed.   
  
This was one of my better pranks. I think Duo will be proud of this one. Although, I'm not sure I'll be hearing from him for a while, judging from the noises as I pass by the room with him and Zechs inside. That one was my idea. Something about the hair.  
  
Trowa had the best idea... Heero and Une. THAT was one I'd never thought of. I wanted to pair up Heero with Wufei, but then I think they both would have wanted to kill me on the spot. Chuckling softly, I made my way downstairs, past the living room as quietly as I could, and out to the back of the house where Rashid and a few of the others sat, enjoying the early afternoon. Abdul took one look at me and just burst into laughter, getting up and clapping me across the shoulder.  
  
"I didn't think you could do it, Master Quatre. You proved me wrong yet again."  
  
I couldn't help but grin as I held out my palm towards him. "Yes, I did it... you lose. Pay up." I tried my best to keep a straight face as he dug into one pocket and handed me a set of keys.  
  
"You realize I'm just going to win it back." He was smiling though, as he retook his seat.  
  
Yes, he'd win it back. And I'd get it back again. We'd been doing this for years. Something about the Porsche that just drove us to outdo each other in practical jokes just so we could have the right to drive the candy-apple red convertible. "That you will, Abdul. But I think you'll be thinking long and hard about how to outdo me on THIS one."  
  
It was then that I heard the first shout, most likely from the living room. "WINNER, YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!" Hilde. Had to be. Her or Dorothy.   
  
"Well, gentlemen, that's my cue to leave!" I sprinted around to the front of the house, not daring to set foot within it, and jumped into the car, the precious keys still in my hands. Hell of a dare, really... wonder what we'll do for next New Years?  
  
If I survive that long.  
  
* * *  
  
~Owari 


End file.
